First let’s get a grasp on a few pieces of background information. First off, how do most men make conversation with a woman they’re attracted to? What do they do right, wrong or completely miss out from their talks with the opposite sex? The best way to answer these questions is simply to identify the mistakes the majority of men out there make – things every guy, for whatever reason, chooses to do when talking to a woman, that hinder – rather than help – his chances of hooking up with her.
Mistake #1: ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS. Lots of men worry that when they start talking to a woman, she won’t say much back. This outcome, standing there – suffering an awkward, embarrassing silence – is so much of a concern that they ask the woman question after question to avoid it. The reason they bombard her with questions is because they think that the best way of getting and keeping the woman talking is by giving her more and more opportunities to say something, no matter what the topic happens to be. Unfortunately, doing this sends out a very negative message. It actually shows that you’re nervous and would prefer her to do most of the talking, which often turns the woman off completely.
Mistake #2: NEVER SHUTTING UP. This is the opposite scenario to the one above, but happens for the same reason. Some men scared that the woman they’re talking to will leave any second, choose to talk endlessly in an effort to keep her attention. Again, this is immediately obvious as a sign of social inexperience and nervousness.
Mistake #3: BORING HER TO DEATH. It’s not easy talking to a woman who’s beautiful, sexy and usually practically unattainable. So when a guy gets chatting to a woman he really likes, who’s hot and confident, he doesn’t want to mess it up – after all, it might not happen again for ages! So, in an attempt to limit the chance of saying something that might ruin the interaction and thus his chances with her, he subconsciously restricts the topics of conversation he brings up. He talks about work, the weather, sports, and current affairs, perhaps bombards her with a few questions on those subjects…and generally doesn’t push the boat out much.
Okay, so they’re 3 of the worst mistakes a guy can make when talking to a woman he likes. So let’s flip the coin and look at what he SHOULD be doing.
Objective #1: PROGRESSIVE QUESTIONING. Choose what questions you ask the woman wisely. You don’t want to throw too many questions her way too quickly. If you do, you give her too much control over the conversation and don’t provide her with a challenge. So, use progressive questioning – ask her questions that she MUST give a detailed response to. Avoid Yes/No questions and instead quiz her on things that require emotion-packed responses. “Do you come her often?” is a terrible question. “What do you think this place could do to make it feel more lively and fun?” is much better, as it not only requires a more detailed reply than a simple “Yes” or “No,” it also probes the woman on what makes her feel good.
Objective #2: Don’t be afraid to let short pauses punctuate your conversation with a woman. Many men panic when they hear a silence and jump in with another question or statement to fill it. Don’t make the same mistake. A confident, dominant guy – the kind of man women love – isn’t afraid of little pauses, because they’re natural and harmless. He simply, waits a second or two, sips his drink, smiles and goes with the flow.
Objective #3: It’s okay to use common topics of conversation when you first get talking to a woman. But move away from the mundane stuff as quickly as you can and instead choose to tell engaging stories. Describe a great holiday you had, an amazing concert you recently went to…make it positive and interesting and you engage the woman’s emotions and make her want to tell YOU about her own good times. When this happens, instant rapport and sexual chemistry is born.
Check out “Conversation-King” – for more tips on how to attract and seduce women by mastering the art of verbal communication.
